NJ Education Report

Here’s a sample from Paul Rudnick’s “New Jersey: The Quiz” in this week’s New Yorker:

1. True or false: The map of New Jersey resembles a policeman, and if you look closely you can see his cap and his profile.

Answer: False. The map of New Jersey resembles a corrupt policeman, and if you look closely you can see the brand-new hot tub in his back yard, his place in the Bahamas, and his wife’s new implants.

5. The slogan of New Jersey’s capital, which appears in glowing letters on one of the city’s bridges, is “Trenton Makes, the World Takes.” What were the three runners-up?

(a) “Trenton Pees, the World Sees.”

(b) “Trenton Poops, the World Scoops.”

(c) “If You Lived in Trenton, You’d Be Home Now So You Could Kill Yourself.”