From Paul Rudnick’s “diagnostic exam” in the New Yorker:
1. When your first grader asks for help solving a Common Core math problem involving subitizing and stable order, how do you respond?
(a) I strangle my child while shrieking, “This . . . is . . . why . . . we . . . bought . . . you . . . that . . . fancy . . . computer, Liam! ”
(b) I tell my child, “Go ask your mother. Your birth mother. I think she lives in Canada.”
(c) I ask to see the equation, then discuss it with my child using nonsense terms. Example: “Simply tri-dram the hexabop until the tetramint indoles.” If my child appears confused, I say, “I wish you were smarter.
